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Monday, January 11, 2016

The Real Fake News: 1/11/2016.

Welcome to another edition of The Real Fake News with DavidGX. Today is Monday, January 11th 2016.

Our top story, the ForeverSpin was found to not, in fact, spin forever. Although it looks pretty damn cool.

In the world of Video Games, Bowser issued a statement saying that the massive influx of Italians into the Koopa Kingdom has has less than desirable results. Italians, not understanding the cultural values and laws of Koopa Kingdom have taken to kidnapping princesses from castles. Goomba squads have been dispatched to subdue the attackers but are not having much success so far.

From the Internet, people have issued a petition to Barack Obama requesting that Nero be verified on Twitter. Apparently this is a thing that he needs to look at. In related news, I've sent pictures of my dog to NASA with a note attached, asking them to verify that she's a good girl.

In politics, Sean Wever of BroTeamPill announced today that he'll be running for president of the United States. He promised to "make America not too bad again." When informed that only natural born citizens can be president in the USA, he responded "gay?" and went to play video games.

In Fashion news, L'Oreal today announced a line of beard shampoos targeted at male feminists. It promises to add volume, bounce and reduce split ends. The slogan "Maybe he's born with it? Maybe it's male privilege." was seen in the first TV ad.

And finally, in celebrity news, sadly David Bowie has passed away after recently launching his latest album. In related news, the latest Tupac album is about to drop, with one of the songs dedicated to the passing of David Bowie. No one knows how.

That's all for the news, have a good one.

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