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Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Ways to annoy people.

Annoying people can be fun and there's endless ways to do it. Here's just a few you might want to try.

1. Telling time.

If someone asks you the time and it's the top of the house, any hour, do this.

Let's say it's 2 o'clock. Instead, tell them it's 1:60.

2. Wrong system.

If you're in America, use country-inappropriate weights and measurements. Refer to weight in stone and height in millimeters. Act like it's completely normal.

3. The Queen.

After every statement you make, add "at least, that's what the queen tells me" to the end.

4. Joe.

Call everyone Joe, including women and little girls. If the person you're talking to is already named Joe? Call him Bob.

5. It'll kill ya.

Insist that cancer causes smoking. When corrected, pretend to quickly forget and continue.

6. Wrong language.

Attempt to communicate with anyone who looks foreign, even if they already know English. The trick is, use the wrong language. If they're Asian, try using Spanish words, for example.

7. Price check.

Do you have a "Dollar Tree" or any such store in your area where everything costs $1? If so, bring an item to the front every time you visit the store and ask if they can scan it to see what the price is.

8. Team Yoda.

Do you know a really big Star Wars fan? If so, ask to have something cleared up about the prequels. Then ask them if the Werewolves or Vampires won.

9. Have it your way.

Visit the drive-through of your local Pizza Hut. Attempt to order a Big Mac. Do this once a day for a month.

10. Blasphenomenal.

Visit a church, ask them directions to the nearest abortion clinic. Repeat as desired.

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