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Thursday, December 29, 2011

Tips for being remembered: School.

Here's another list of great* ideas on being remembered. This time, for students at school.

1. If you're asked what 1 + 1 is? Answer "two dead parents."

2.Bring your teacher an apple on the first day, inform the teacher that you already removed the worm... and ate it.

3. If you're called to the chalk board to demonstrate something, draw a pentagram. Explain that you're asking Satan to give you the answer.

4. On your schoolwork, always sign your name "Sir Pilkington the 14th."

5. When you're given homework, don't bring it back the next school day. When asked way, tell them that YOU ate it.

6. Ask the teacher if channeling dead math professors is considered cheating.

7. Wear big red clown shoes to school. If you're asked to remove them, tell them that you can't, it's part of your religion.

8. Before you leave school at the end of the day, hand your teacher some homework and tell them that you expect it done by the next day.

9. If someone knocks on the classroom door, bark like a dog at the door until it's answered. If asked why, say that you don't like strangers.

10. Style your hair in an Afro, as large as possible. Insist that it's custom in your native African homeland. Bonus points if you're white. Even more bonus points if you're Asian.

*horrible ideas

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