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"Those who go mad are merely thoughtful souls who failed to reach any conclusions." - Bloodborne

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Tuesday, September 28, 2010

More offensive knock knock jokes.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
9/11 who?

Ok that one is an old one but I like it. Here's a few I just came up with.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
In interrupting muslim.
An interrupting muslim wh..

Knock knock.
Who's there?
An aborted fetu..*hack*... ah....
Heh, he's dead now.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
An owl.
An owl who?
...fuck you buddy.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
A native American.
A native American HOW?
...fuck you buddy.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Carlos Mencia.
Carlos Mencia who... oh fuck it this joke isn't going to be funny.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
About 6 million Jews.
About 6 million Jews who?
About 6 million Jews who probably deserved what we got in WW2.

This offensive knock knock joke in no way represents my personal opinion on Jewish people. It's just an offensive joke.

If you have any good ones, leave a comment.

A tv show.

I have a great idea for a TV show. It would be called "Trolling the nation" and would basically involving harassing/pranking/trolling various people in public places.

One idea for a skit involves a small circus showing up at someone's funeral. Clowns, the works. They're obviously told they're in the wrong place but they just start performing. People are shocked/confused/angry while some guy is attempting to pull a rabbit out of his hat and a clown is making balloon animals.

Another involves my previous idea of dressing up as the grim reaper, going to a retirement community and just... peeking in the windows. As if waiting for something.

Yet another involves people dressed as giant pairs of scissors showing up outside an elementary school. They're there to promote the good practice of running with scissors. Maybe a little song, something like :

"We're the scissor people and we're here to say,
that running with scissors is A-OK!
It makes you strong and it makes you tough,
So run with scissors ev-ery-day!"

Or some such stupid thing. Just to see how angry the teachers/staff get.

And perhaps some random stuff, like having 50 people form a conga line and start at one entrance of a wal-mart and conga all the way to the other and then just leave.

Maybe a rich-Englishman character. Big hat, monocle, etc. He goes to a school play and randomly interrupts it with "MY WORD THIS IS RE-DONK-ICULOUS!" and other such random phrases that make no sense.

I've got a million ideas. Most of them horrible.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Stop the Internet Blacklist!

Via Demand Progress...

Just the other day, President Obama urged other countries to stop censoring the Internet. But now the United States Congress is trying to censor the Internet here at home. A new bill being debated this week would have the Attorney General create an Internet blacklist of sites that US Internet providers would be required to block.

This is the kind of heavy-handed censorship you'd expect from a dictatorship, where one man can decide what web sites you're not allowed to visit. But the Senate Judiciary Committee is expected to pass the bill this week -- and Senators say they haven't heard much in the way of objections! That's why we need you to sign our urgent petition to Congress demanding they oppose the Internet blacklist.

To read the rest and sign the petition, click here.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

The GOP broke their "Pledge to America" just hours after making it.

Spread this far and wide. Everyone needs to see it.

A frog prince?

For some odd reason I was recently thinking of the fairy tale(s) that involve a girl kissing a frog. You know, she kisses the frog and it turns into a prince.

A prince? Of what? Does the former-frog simply wander into the nearest kingdom and go "hey guys, I'm the prince now. Yeah, used to be a frog. No shit. Got kissed by some girl. I shit you not. So yeah, prince now. Of this place... yeah. Here."

How does that work exactly? Or is it supposed to be a former prince that got turned into a frog? Some of the stories I've seen regarding this don't specify, which makes me wonder.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Attention facebook. Fuck off.

No, internet, I don't want to sign up with facebook. I don't want to link my account with facebook. I don't want to view YOUR facebook profile.

Seriously, stop it already. What the hell is it with this fucking site? Almost everywhere I go offers to let me log in with my facebook account information. Or I'm browsing reddit and someone submits a link that can only be viewed if you're logged into facebook.

No, I want nothing to do with that idiot zoo. It's basically just myspace 1.5. I have absolutely no interest in associating in any way with facebook. So cut it out already.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Republicans running on... repeal?

This one has me puzzled. Republicans running in the upcoming mid terms are running on the idea of repealing the healthcare bill signed into law by Obama.

They know that they probably won't win enough seats in the senate to bypass a veto from Obama.

So... what are they running on, exactly? Wasting our fucking time? Wasting money? Aren't these people supposed to be for NOT wasting money?

Could someone explain it to me?

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Something amazing.

Today I've awoken with an incredible gift. I think I may be a reverse-psychic. I think I may have the ability to foresee events that have already happened.

If the things I see in my mind are correct, I'd advise you NOT to get on a plane on September 11, 2001 for I see very bad things happening that day.

Also, if you're name is Taylor Swift and you will be accepting a VMA award in 2010 hire security to keep people away from the stage. Trust me. I see a huge jackass who's desperate for attention causing problems for you.

Monday, September 20, 2010

I've always wanted...

I've always wanted to be a pigeon. So I can see the sights and then shit on them from above.

I've always wanted a colt. Because I ACTUALLY want a horse, just later.

I've always wanted about three fifty. I think it will make me feel better about everyone thinking I don't exist.

I've always wanted a time machine. So I can go around collecting moldy burgers, drop them in the time machine and BAM, fresh again. Time machine = free burgers. Hell yes.

I've always wanted a cowbell. So I can trick the neighbors into thinking we have cows in here. I'll probably have to work on my "moo" though.

Friday, September 17, 2010

We all breathe the same air.

We all breath the same air.
If you're black, white or anything else.
No matter what separates us.
No matter what divides us.
No matter our language.
No matter our beliefs.
It's an unavoidable fact.
It brings us together.
It binds us as one people.
Whether we fight.
Whether we argue.
Whether we disagree...
We all breath the same air.
Never forget it.
Now don't fuck with me or I'll shit in your air.

A message of hope, by DavidGX.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Let's not split hairs.

You notice something interesting when you spend time on a website where a lot of people comment about religion. People, even people who belong to "mainstream" religions tend to make fun of religions like scientology. This is something I don't quite get. If you're, say, a christian, you basically believe the invisible mayor of sky city sent himself as his son, via a rape, to sacrifice himself to himself to somehow make up for the sins his imperfect creations commit because they're imperfect. Or something like that.

What place do you have to make fun of someone else for having a religion that involves space ships and pyramids? I'm not defending scientology and I'm CERTAINLY not attacking the practice of making fun of religon, but it's just splitting hairs.

I personally don't find ANY religion to be more or less sane than any other. They're ALL bullshit. They should all be regarded as such. One religious person attacking another for their beliefs is like one shit covered jackasses throwing shit at another and then going "HA HA, YOU'RE COVERED IN SHIT NOW!"

ALL religions have that certain... je ne sais bullshit so let's not split hairs.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

A random idea.

Let's all do this tomorrow.

Go to your local Wal-Mart, buy 10 bibles, lighter fluid, matches, party hats and a rake.

Observe the looks you get.

Monday, September 13, 2010

What pisses me off? Signs.

Yeah, signs. You've seen them, surely. They stand around all day, doing nothing but bossing others around.

They say things like "YIELD" or even "STOP" but they almost never have anything positive to say. "KEEP OFF THE GRASS" or "NO U-TURN". Etc, etc. They have a true "can't do" attitude about life.

Who are these lazy assholes to boss us around? Hell, they even tell us how fast to drive on the roads. And we listen, why?

And who's behind the signs? Who places them? The government. That's right, signs are an evil liberal plot by our secret-muslim president barack hussein obama. To control our lives. To limit our freedoms.

Think about that the next time you get any false ideas that this nation is free. It's not.

Friday, September 10, 2010

The best instrument you've never heard of.

One of the coolest things I've seen in some time. Have you ever heard of the Eigen Harp? I haven't until recently. Check this out.

Eigen Labs

Thursday, September 9, 2010

The worlds most offensive knock-knock joke?

Posted this on reddit in response to a submission about an offensive knock-knock joke. Reposting it here because the format wouldn't work well for twitter.

Knock Knock.

Who's there?


Muhammad who?

Here's my photo: @:-)

Well, I'm sure it would be the most offensive knock-knock joke in certain places.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

A couple thoughts.

Would a really hardcore feminist warrior wear mail armor?

Does it seem to anyone else like the song lyrics "I'm coming out, I want the world to know, got to let it show" might mean something different today?

Shouldn't the makers of "Jergens" make a lubricating product called "Jerkins" ?

Monday, September 6, 2010

I'm so full of... charity.

I saw a sign in a store earlier with the text "help send children with serious illnesses to camp".

The first thing I thought was "Great, extermination camps. We'll strengthen the gene pool and prevent the spread of disease" but then I realized that they didn't mean THAT kind of camp. It was a charity for sick kids. That's ok too, I suppose.

But that gave me an idea. I'll start my own charity, "Help send children with minor illnesses to camp". Your child have a cold? Disneyland. Slight fever? Chicken pox? Computer camp. It's brilliant, am I right or what?

Here's the REALLY great part, instead of using the profits to send the children with minor illnesses to fun places, I save it. I use it to open an extermination camp for the children with the serious illnesses. You know, strengthen the gene pool and prevent the spread of disease.

It cannot fail.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Product Review: Arctic MX-3

So I've ordered a few things over the last week and thought I would do a few product reviews just because. I just got my Arctic MX-3 Thermal Grease today so we'll start with that.

If any system builders or anyone that uses thermal grease are lurking around here, check this out.

I recently ordered a tube of Arctic MX-3 Thermal Grease. I must say, this stuff is freakin' awesome. Here's the details from the packaging.

What this means is, the thermal grease will reach it's full effectiveness immediately. No curing time required, unlike the thermal grease I was using before, Artic Silver 5. Also because it's not conductive or capacitive, it won't short anything out should you somehow spill it onto the motherboard or any other components.

High Thermal Conductivity
Low Thermal Resistance
Electrically Non-Conductive

The package also claims "8 Year Durability" which should mean that this stuff won't have to be changed for 8 years. Not likely you'll be using the same processor or cooler that long but, very nice.

As for performance, there's various articles online you can have a look at. I can only convey what I've experienced with my system. I have an AMD Phenom II 940. A quad-core 64bit processor. Overclocked from 3.0ghz at 1.25 volts to 3.5ghz at 1.45 volts. Running the AMD Overdrive stability test for 20 minutes produced a temperature of 58 Celsius. After removing the previous thermal grease and applying MX-3, the same test at 20 minutes produced a temperature of 54 Celsius.

Hardly scientific, but damn, that's 4 degrees off. Not 4 degrees cooler than stock paste, but 4 degrees cooler than Article Silver 5! That's pretty damned impressive, in my opinion.

The paste was easy to apply, not runny at all. The plunger-style container comes with plenty and even has transparent spots on the side to show you when you're getting low. I'd expect to get many, many applications out of it before I would need more.

My verdict? Buy it. It's awesome. It's a little pricey for thermal grease but in my opinion, well worth it.

Arctic MX-3 on Amazon
Official page

Friday, September 3, 2010

Annoyance delivery.

Does it seem, to anyone else, like every large truck, van, 18 wheeler and school bus goes by your house when you're expecting a package? Just to taunt you?

Maybe it's just that you notice it more, but it certainly seems that way. A line of school buses, ambulances, delivery trucks from other companies and garbage trucks just street racing around your neighborhood.

It's probably just my paranoia, or perhaps it's the Russians.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

This summer...

This summer, it begins...

One man, one cutting apparatus, one mission.

A goal, a world, a purpose.

A marmot, a Mexican and a moose.

A destination 4 days away with only 2 to get there.

Ever since he was a child, he was discouraged from it.

Every since he was a parent, he discouraged others from it.

But now, this summer, Gilbert Gottfried is running with a purpose, running with a vengeance...

Running, with scissors.

Not yet rated.