Random quote

"Those who go mad are merely thoughtful souls who failed to reach any conclusions." - Bloodborne

My newest YouTube video!

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

These lightbulbs are awesome.

What? Lightbulbs? Yeah, I know, just lightbulbs. But these lightbulbs, as the title of this post states, are awesome.

Yeah, I know, not a CFL (compact florescent) bulb. They do have a CFL version although supposedly it's not quite as good as the incandescent.

The light from these things really is fantastic. It's very white, no yellow aura. Things in the room they're installed in have a much cleaner look. Posters and such, look nicer. Have you ever tried them?

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Does anyone else...

Does anyone else believe that sarah palin thinks SHE'S the only one who can prevent forest fires?

Does anyone else find it strange that both a revolution to free a people and a shit can both be describe with the same word? Movement.

Does anyone else REALLY want to see a clown commit suicide? Have a sad clown show up and just... blow his own head off?

Does anyone else want to get a bunch of really tiny coats, put them on every squirrel in a park and just watch the reactions? People show up and... every squirrel is wearing a little coat.

Does anyone else think we should just rename the "middle east" to "Disneyland"? How could you have wars in Disneyland? You couldn't It's genius. What's even more genius? It's Disney, so they still get to hate Jews! It'd be win/win for those guys.

Friday, August 27, 2010

A few sites.

Here's a few sites I like that I thought I'd share with you.

The Fucking Weather

The site gives you... the fucking weather. Just input your zip code and there you are.

Rather Good

This site has a lot of funny and insane... mostly insane content. Just my cup of tea. check it out.

DBZ Abridged

If you've ever watched Dragon Ball Z, you need to see this stuff. These guys have basically redubbed/edited episodes to make them funnier. It's good stuff.

(The Customer Is) Not Always Right

Funny stories from people who work in retail. Those are always great, except when they aren't. These are pretty great though.

Korean comics

Here are some funny, translated into English of course, comics from Korea.


You've probably heard of this one. It's a collection of quotes from various IRC chat rooms. I've spent... too much time browsing through this site. I've even submitted a quote from a friend of mine. To find it, search for "" without the quotes.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

A few thoughts.

Would someone please tell me why there's no glue named "James Bond" ?? Doesn't that sound like, the name of the most badass glue ever?

Picture this: The actor that auditions to play James Bond in a movie shows up to try out. They give him the plot. He says something like "What? I thought this movie was going to be about glue, fuck your secret agent bullshit" and just stormed out. How confused would everyone there be? I think that would be awesome.

Here's something else I want to see. I want to see a hardcore, gangster rapper with a really sissy name. Just to see if he could get away with it.

"Ladies and gentlemen it's M.C. Prissy Pony!" He just comes in, decked the fuck out. Blinged like no one's business. His chains have chains hanging from them. Gold teeth, everything... and a tiara on his head. Just acts like a total badass. How great would that be?

Here's an idea I've had for a long time. I thought that if I ever won the lottery, I'd hire Gilbert Gottfried to do the voice over for an entire episode of Sailor Moon.

Any episode, it probably wouldn't matter. All the characters. All the voices, including the theme song. If you've ever seen this show (I watched a bit and my sister was a huge fan) you'll realize how genius this idea is.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Internet lingo/phrases that need to die.

1. "TL;DR"

It stands for: "Too Long, Didn't Read" and is usually used as a summary at the end of a post or article. Sometimes even when the post/article wasn't that long.

Who uses it: The illiterate and/or incredibly lazy.

This one needs to die because: Anyone who can't be bothered to read a bit of text on the internet shouldn't be here to begin with.

2. "U" and "UR"

They stand for: "you" and "your/you're" respectively.

Who uses these: The 8 - 13 year old myspace user, the illiterate and/or incredibly lazy.

These need to die because: This is the internet. You have a full keyboard. You don't need to type like you're text messaging your "BFF Jill". It just makes you look like a stupid child.

3. "umad bro"

It stands for: It's lingo commonly used by trolls or people who think they are or want to be trolls.

Who uses it: Mostly children on the internet who have lost an argument and have nothing else left to say. It's usually repeated.

This needs to die because: It completely fails. It's intended to annoy or piss you off. It just comes off, to me, as funny. I usually start laughing if someone says this to me. I can't help it. I'll see if I can get them to keep going. If you're trying to piss people off on the internet, look elsewhere if you want to be taken at least semi-seriously.

4. "inb4 blank"

It stands for: A meme started on the *chans, it usually involves posting "inb4 insert-obvious-thing-usually-mentioned-in-related-threads/posts-here". Why? I'm not really sure.

Who uses it: The 8 - 13 year old myspace user, people who frequent *chan sites that think it's clever, who are possibly also 8 - 13 year old myspace users.

It needs to die because: ...it's pointless. I've yet to hear any good reason for it. There's a topic about Barack Obama, someone says "inb4 Obama's a muslim" because they know that people will usually say something like that. Umm, congratulations for paying the minimal amount of attention to the internet to notice that, I guess?

5. "Cool story, bro"

It stands for: This one is meant to imply that your post/article is boring or uninteresting.

Who uses it: The 8 - 13 year old myspace user, people who frequent *chan sites that think it's clever, who are possibly also 8 - 13 year old myspace users.

It needs to die because: It no longer has any kind of amusing qualities it once had. It's old and stupid. Done to death. It no longer even looks like you mean it, just that it's the expected "cool thing" to post in response to a story or post.

Can you think of any more?

Monday, August 23, 2010

New diggs.

So apparently Digg is getting a new design and some new functionality. I've been messing with it for a while and I think they did a pretty good job with the redesign. Fans of Digg will probably like it.

I have 5 invites I can send (as registration for the new Digg is closed at the moment) so here's a chance to get in. The first 5 people to email me and ask for an invite will get one. I'll update this post when the invites are given out. If you don't get a reply then I probably ran out and hadn't yet got a chance to update the page.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Elephant jokes.

I wasn't aware until recently that elephant jokes used to be very popular.

Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
A: Have you ever seen a yellow elephant?
Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?
A: Hold his trunk shut until he turns blue, and then shoot him with the blue elephant gun.

via Wikipedia

They are pretty funny. I thought up one of my own.

Q: How does an elephant commit suicide?
A: Paints his horns gold and goes to Africa.

...ok maybe I shouldn't make elephant jokes...

Thursday, August 19, 2010


Someone tell me why we refer to the deceased as "late". The "late" john jasoffinson, the "late" martha pennywaffle, etc. It seems funny, but strange.

I mean, you KNOW they're dead, right? They aren't late by CHOICE, they're just freakin dead. Late to me implies the person hasn't showed up yet, but will. If someone doesn't show up they just... didn't show up. They weren't late.

"Mommy, where's daddy?"
"He's just late."
"He's been gone for seven years!"
"He's VERY late."

Apparently getting your face chewed off by marmots, being baked in an oven and having your ashes tossed into the sea counts as late. Weird.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Cataclysm: CE Pre-Order begins.

Any WoW players out there? If so, just in case you haven't heard, pre-orders for WoW: Cataclysm have begun.

Standard Edition. Retails for $39.99. Free shipping with amazon.

Collectors Edition. Comes with some nice extras. Retails for $79.99. Free shipping with amazon.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Do you think...

Do you think if everyone just decided to show up at an airport one day dressed as osama bin laden, would they shut the airport down? Would they just begrudgingly allow people to fly? Would everyone be searched slowing the already slow airport experience to a complete crawl? If someone got turned away could they sue the airport. If EVERYONE got turned away, could they sue the airport?

How much would a lawsuit like that cost the airport if they lost? Could this be the weird costume-party/prank that destroys the airline industry?

Do you think that if president woke up one day and just wore a batman costume the whole day he'd get a ton of shit? I mean, for the press, diplomats, U.N. meetings even, everything. I bet people would make a FAR bigger deal out of that than the atrocities that george bush put this country through, don't you think so?

Do you think penguins ever get to go to non-formal events? I'd imagine it would be difficult.

Do you think the whole, "Magnetic pole-reversal" thing is a plot by companies that sell compasses? I mean, if the poles suddenly reversed, EVERYONE would have to by new ones. Very suspicious...

Also, I've added a couple new items to the Zazzle Store so check those out.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Religion = trolled schizophrenics?

Schizophrenia may have a variety of symptoms. Usually the illness develops slowly over months or even years.


# False beliefs or thoughts that have nothing to do with reality (delusions)
# Hearing, seeing, or feeling things that are not there (hallucinations)

via Google health.

I don't know if that reminds you of anything, but it reminds me of religion. I was thinking about that earlier... what if religious people are simply schizophrenics that society is just fucking with?

Some guy starts hearing voices and tells someone. Someone else puts on some robes, a pointy hat and goes "That's the voice of GOD! He created EVERYTHING! It's all in this book! He's talking to you! Vote this way, hate these people and uh... he told me he wants you to give me some money."

Does that seem a little cruel to anyone else? Or incredibly funny? Or both?

Friday, August 13, 2010

The comic "cathy" is ending.

About damn time. You know the comic, right? It's commonly found in "the funny papers" and it's about a girl who... doesn't really do much. It's a comic that's so stereotypically female that it offends me and I'm not even female.


That's pretty much it. Comic after comic. How do I know this? No, I'm not 10. I don't normaly read the funnies but we have them here in the bathroom for reading in there. So, why not? But the "cathy" comics have always annoyed me.

Yes, cathy, you're female. We get it. You're overweight, you have a purse big enough to crush the life out of smaller, lesser purses. How this boring, repetitive, stereotypical comic lasted as long is it did... I don't know.

But at least it's going away. And the world is a slightly better place to live because of it.

Via Yahoo.

Net NeutraWHAT? More comments.

I found a good comment on the subject on reddit. Have a look.

What I think angers Tea Partiers and Libertarians about Net Neutrality is that it IS a modification of property rights. I'm still for it, and here's why.

In the beginning of Free Culture by Lawrence Lessig, he talks about the Supreme Court fundamentally changing property rights in 1945. It used to be that you owned your piece of land on up to "an indefinite extent upwards." Long story short, a farmer sued a pilot for trespassing when the low flying plane spooked the farmer's chickens and they freaked out in the pen and killed themselves. Given what property rights were at the time, the farmer should have won. I urge you to read the book, but ultimately the Supreme Court decided to change property rights, because this particular aspect "had no place in the modern world."

If the farmer had won, then airplanes would have to ask permission to fly above every single piece of property. It would ruin air travel. The judges decided that sucked, essentially.

Not having net neutrality can ruin the internet. While not inevitable, a strong potential is there. And that just sucks. The internet is too precious of a resource to give up just so Verison, Comcast, or whoever can make more money than they already are. There's a societal pro and con list here, and quite frankly, Net Neutrality is more important than these corporations' property rights.

To me, Net Neutrality is similar to eminent domain being able to give everyone roads which is in the interest of a greater good, and the definition of owning property being changed by the government in order to let air travel exist. In my opinion, Net Neutrality IS a challenge of property rights. Even as an ardent proponent for Net Neutrality, I must admit that it (in the technical sense) weakens property rights.

And I'm ok with that, because of what the guarantee of Net Neutrality can provide to our society. I'm sure that to a tried and true Libertarian, who would traditionally place high value on property rights, this might sound abhorrent.

And I don't mean to pick on Libertarians specifically. I'm addressing anyone who thinks that Net Neutrality is an assault on their freedom. I am someone who uses the internet, knows it, lives it, and has it ingrained in my culture. If you think that Net Neutrality limits your freedoms, with all due respect, I say your notions of property rights have "no place in the modern world."

Via ViennettaLurker on reddit.

This was a comment on an article that mentions the tea party has come out against Net Neutrality. So, if you needed another reason to support Net Neutrality, there's a damn fine one.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

A tall tale.

In the beginning, everything was orange. Not like kinda orange, like really super freakin orange. I mean, holy cow man. Things were orange. And then purple. And then right back to orange... except 1000x more orange than before. It was like orange day in orange town at orange-o-clock.

Then, the coming of the llamas. Also, they were orange too. A stream of orange llamas that came to our orange universe to liberate it from all the orange. They themselves being so orange, knew the perils of such orangiosity.

And so, their dark work began. The first thing they did was to create sugar dr pepper. But then realized it actually tasted better with high fructose corn syrup and abandoned that idea. Then they created the earth. It was pretty freakin orange, what, with all the other orangeness around. So, in an effort to contain all the orange, they created oranges. A fruit so orange that it had to be named orange. Thus leaving them room to make other things different colors.

They made the sky blue, the grass green and Eddie Murphy brown. For it was all part of their grand plan.

And a few hundred eggplant years later, here we are. Never fully knowing just how orange a universe can be, but grateful that we'll never have to find out. Thanks to oranges.

Now give me one shred of real evidence that my story isn't as good as yours, christians/muslims/jews/etc. Well, you can't, so I guess we better teach this story in school. You know, teach the controversy. Let the students decide.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Net NeutraWHAT?

Let me ask a question... why is the concept of Net Neutrality so misunderstood? Whenever it's brought up, especially on the internet, people swarm out of the woodwork to bash the very idea and offer up strange, nonsense arguments against it.

Here's a description.

Net Neutrality is the guiding principle that preserves the free and open Internet.

Net Neutrality means that Internet service providers may not discriminate between different kinds of content and applications online. It guarantees a level playing field for all Web sites and Internet technologies.

Net Neutrality is the reason the Internet has driven economic innovation, democratic participation and free speech online. It protects the consumer's right to use any equipment, content, application or service without interference from the network provider. With Net Neutrality, the network's only job is to move data -- not to choose which data to privilege with higher quality service.

Via Savetheinternet.com

Say that I'm google. Without Net Neutrality, I could pay an ISP such as AT&T to make MY search engine load faster than Yahoo or Bing anyone else. Or, perhaps even make those sites not load at all. Net Neutrality prevents ISPs from being able to charge their users for, say, a "entertainment package" that makes sites like Hulu, Youtube and Netflix.com load fast. As opposed to slow or not at all if you don't pay.

It ensures that Microsoft can't pay Verizon to make Xbox Live run much faster than the Playstation Network, or pay to make it run slower. It guarantees that my voice, some random jackass with a strange blog, is on equal footing with any other site on the internet. It protects the internet as a format for free and equal speech.

The above image depicts a, hopefully unlikely, but possible worst case scenario of an internet without Net Neutrality.

One of the arguments ISPs make against Net Neutrality is that it doesn't allow them to "monetize their networks" while conveniently forgetting that, their customers are ALREADY paying to use the networks. Also that Net Neutrality prevents them from being able to invest in the networks. Again, forgetting that customers are paying for the networks. Giving them money to further invest in the speed and reliability of the network. What should motivate ISPs to invest in their networks is and should be competition. You know, with other ISPs. The free market and all that jazz. You've heard of it, I assume?

So what's the ACTUAL motivation by ISPs? Money of course. They want more money. Do they deserve it? Absolutely not. They like to bitch about sites like youtube who "hog bandwidth" and "use their pipes for free" while, yet again, forgetting about the customers who pay. If I spend all day watching videos on youtube, that bandwidth transaction has been paid for. By me when I pay for my internet connection. No one is "owed" anything or is "freeloading" off of anyone. Google pays to host youtube and I pay for the connection that takes me there. ISPs want to double-dip, as in, they want to charge ME to get to youtube and also youtube to get to ME.

An argument that some misinformed people make is that, the big old mean government, once they get their claws into the internet through Net Neutrality, will have total control and will ruin the internet forever. Your privacy will be gone and the internet as we know it will cease to exist. It seems to me that it's at the very least a stretch to assume that Net Neutrality is what the government needs to do this, if they really wanted to. Remember, the government is also in charge of that "first amendment" thing. Which, I assume, you wouldn't call "government control and regulation of speech" would you?

Net Neutrality is a boon to the free market, it keeps competition fair and results an in internet that can truly serve it's purpose. In my opinion, the internet is the greatest example of free speech ever created. On the internet, all have an equal chance to be heard. No one can can censor, filter or alter your speech. You can say anything you want and express any opinion you have about any subject. To turn this over to the whims of a few corporations using the "omg it's their private network" excuse is far too little, far too late. The internet has become an essential part of not just American life, but the lives of people across the world. the internet must remain an open and neutral place for discussion and the exchange of ideas.

More info and reading on the subject:

Any any more interesting links? Leave a comment and I'll add them.

Monday, August 9, 2010

We got the bastard now!

I've long suspected that Peter Molyneux, big-wig at Lionhead Studios was really a leprechaun. This is a conspiracy that goes ALL the way back to at least last thursday. I've had little luck gathering evidence to support my suspicions... until now.

Apparently the moron slipped up. Up until now he's been making games, fables and such. Why? I suspect to either buy back all his cereal or even the company that now makes it. You know, get at it from the source. It was a pretty good cover, so I'm not sure why he so willingly blew it.

Check this out:

He must have snapped. Or he really loves Lucky Charms. Somehow he got the idea to give the first person that came to the Engadget Show with a box of Lucky Charms a character appearance in Fable III. Dude totally could have went to the supermarket after the show, but now he's got to program some random Engadget readers' faces into his game.

Via destructoid

The supermarket? Oh no, he's too clever for that. Or, at least, he was. You ALMOST had us fooled, didn't you, you son of a bitch? I'm not sure if he's just toying with me or growing desperate for the cereal but he's now blatantly asking for people to bring it to him. Such a genius, a master of disguise, reduced to this.

We've got the bastard now.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Lots of food.

Does it seem almost funny to anyone else how much food we have in the USA? You hear that a lot, that we have too much food in this country and that's why everyone is fat, etc. But have you really stopped and thought about it?

We have SO MUCH food that we actually start doing non-food related stuff with it. Like building stuff.

Not only to we BUILD stuff with our excess food, we also use it as AMMUNITION!

This got me thinking, perhaps we're approaching the Iraq/Afghanistan conflicts the wrong way. Maybe we should be dropping turkeys instead of bombs.

Think about it, getting hit with a falling turkey would most certainly kill your target. Then, the other town citizens would get a turkey, score hearts-and-minds points for America!

Is it genius or what?

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Sad meals.

Here's something I was thinking about. Am I the only one who's waiting for technology to advance to the point where we have happy meals? I don't mean the normal ones, I mean real happy meals. Capable of feeling real emotions. Like, you know, happiness.

Happy meals that are ACTUALLY happy. I probably am. Hmm. My vision is wasted on this world.

Friday, August 6, 2010

$45 Garage Sale Purchase Worth $200 Million

Found this bit of news recently on the interwebs.

Rick Norsigian, who frequents garage sales in search of antiques, purchased two small boxes of negatives for $45 at a sale in Fresno, California nearly 10 years ago. It turns out that the glass negatives were created by famed photographer Ansel Adams and date back to 1919 before Adams became well known as a nature photographer.

The negatives of famous Yosemite landscapes and San Francisco landmarks are reportedly worth at least $200 million, according to CNN. The negatives were recently appraised by Beverly Hills appraiser and art dealer David W. Streets, who unveiled the photographs at his gallery on Tuesday.

Full Article.

My first thought was "I wonder if they considered taunting the people they bought those from?".

I mean, seriously. How could you NOT do that? Just drive to the original place where you got them at the garage sale and go "Those negatives I bought from you, yeah, for $45. Those sold for 200 million! Can you believe it? Holy cow! I'm glad I bought those, thanks a lot!"

How do you resist?? I'm not sure if I could. Just head over there, hand them a small box and say "for making me all that money, I bought you a gift."

Inside the box is a framed picture of your 200 million dollars. Could you resist doing something like that?

And now for something completely differenter

A guy got a midget/little person to sing his boss happy birthday while wearing a gnome costume.

The boss has a phobia of midgets/little people.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Vampires Suck.

I just wanted to make sure you saw this if you haven't already.

YES! Must see!

The tools of life.

Duct Tape

Duct Tape is the king of... stuff. And things. I mean, it would be easier for me to list the things you CAN'T do with duct tape. I've seen wallets made of duct tape, chairs and even blankets. I can't imagine they'd be too comfortable, but still it shows the versatility.

You can head over to google and find literally millions of things that can be done with this. Oh, and it also apparently is good for ducts. But NOT ducks. Don't make the same mistake I did.

Cable Ties

These are my new favorite things. At least as far as cables and methods for tying them go. I've used these in my mine and my sisters PC builds. Tying and securing cables to increase aesthetics and airflow. For TV and video game console cables. Hell, the police sometimes use large cable ties as handcuffs.

They're just that awesome.

Ratcheting Screwdriver

I recently got a ratcheting screwdriver and immediately, I loved life. I felt a love for life that I haven't felt in ever. Having the advantage of extra leverage when turning tough screws is fantastic. Something I wish I had the previous day when assembling my sisters desk.

So that's my current list for essential life tools... or tools for life, or something like that. Just a few, maybe I'll post more some other time. What are your essential tools that you couldn't do without?

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

I'm wondering something.

Is it getting harder for anyone else to listen to sarah palin speak lately? I'm not sure if her "talking" (if you want to call it that) is getting more annoying or perhaps my tolerance for it is waning.

If you're not sure what I'm talking about, click here to see the new episode of The Daily Show if you haven't already. Listen to her talk about "mama grizzlys" and see if you don't, kind of, maybe, wish humanity would become extinct through some kind of world-changing cataclysm.

Even the dumbest of republicans or just plain stupid people, even those people, I wonder why they like her. Why does anyone? She makes a lot of noise but never actually SAYS anything. I don't even know what her political beliefs are other than to oppose *whatever Democrats want to do at the time* and support *whatever republicans want to do at the time*. I mean, she's not even her own person. She's like a really bad robot made by the republican party to repeat talking points.

No substance and, in my opinion, no style. Just a blithering idiot with make up on reading notes scribbled with the latest right-wing talking points on her hand.

Can anyone out there clue me in on why she's so popular? I'm guessing it's because people are generally stupid but I'd always love to be proven wrong on that one.

Suicide bombing as a career.

Has anyone stopped and thought about this: Suicide bombing is the ultimate career! Probably not, but hear me out.

Dedication: Well, I mean, you can't possibly be more dedicated to your job than to be willing to blow yourself up. How can anything else possibly require more? It's the ultimate sign of dedication.

Life-long: Truly, the job of a suicide bomber is a job you'll have for the rest of your life. A career if there ever was one. The last job you'll ever have, or need.

The pay: I'm not sure what the pay is, but because of the nature of the job it really doesn't matter. You'll get 100% of the benefits and retirement that you'll need. Perfect.

And think about this, you can dress casually and you won't even need more than one outfit!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The original troll.

I've already posted with my thoughts on the current definition of "trolling" so I won't go into that here. But by the current definition, this guy was the original troll.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Still pissed about the heat.

So I'm still bitching about the heat. I have an idea.

We rename Spring to Summer.

We rename Fall to Spring.

We rename Winter to Fall.

We rename Summer to Hell.

So then we'd have the four seasons. Summer, Hell, Spring and Fall.

It would probably make more sense if you lived here o_O

Sunday, August 1, 2010

You know what pisses me off? This stuff.

Global warming. This summer has been pretty unbearable so far. I can't stand the heat and thus to this summer I say, fuck you.

Dieing case fans. One of the fans on my case is dieing. It's not super vital, the system won't fail when it dies but still... god damnit. How annoying.

Xbox 360. Great system... when it works. We've had SEVEN die so far. So, fuck you microsoft. Go sell fruit if you want to peddle lemons so badly. At least it'll be honest.

Spider man. You're either a spider or a man, sir, pick a side. We're at war.

Rechargeable batteries that no longer hold a charge. Yeah, they wear out. It happens. A year or two after you buy them they won't hold a charge any more. They're still a fantastic bargain since they last so long and through so many charges. I'd never use non-rechargeables ever again. But yeah... it's annoying.

Smurfs. They know what they did.

PlayOn. I already covered that in another post. But I'm still annoyed. What a scam that program is.

Did I mention summer? Yeah, I hate the heat.

The Daily show and The Colbert Report. No, I love the shows. I hate how lazy they are. Seriously, they take WAY too much time off. A week here, two weeks there, sometimes for no apparent reason. I need my fix, guys, come on.