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"Those who go mad are merely thoughtful souls who failed to reach any conclusions." - Bloodborne

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Ten reasons why Santa Claus is better than Jesus.

1. While Santa Claus and Jesus are both fictional, Santa Claus is based on a real person. He was even a follower of the Jesus character... and got shit for it!

 2. Santa Claus has reindeer that help him to fly. Does Jesus fly? What, walking on water? Hah. Childs stuff. Have fun prancing around on puddles, Jesus.

3. Jesus may have risen from the dead that one time but Santa Claus doesn't die. Also, it took Jesus three days. Slow bitch.

4. Santa Claus gives kids toys, what does Jesus give? Forgiveness? Yeah, that's what kids want for Christmas. Nice gift, asshole. What next, socks?

5. Santa Claus doesn't get by on the coat-tails of his father.

6. Santa Claus has elves, elves are cool. What does Jesus have, apostles? Apostles sounds like something you would need medication for. Elves > apostles any day.

7. Santa Claus and his elves makes toys, Jesus makes religious assholes and shitty bumper stickers.

8. Santa Claus just asks that you don't be an asshole, Jesus and the bible require a lot of very odd things.

9. Santa Claus delivers the toys himself, Jesus has a bunch of nutjob religious wackos deliver his so-called messages.

10. Fashion. Red and white suit > shitty robes any day of the week.

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