After Rick Santorums positive showing at the Iowa caucuses, Republicans all over are scrambling to look him up on the internet... and then swearing never to do that again. His support then sharply declined.
Televisions Conan O'Brien was found to be leading a poodle smuggling ring alongside his late night TV partner, Andy Richter. Police report that the poodles would be stolen from small girls, their hair dyed a florescent green and would then be shipped to Cambodia. The true intent of the operation has not yet been uncovered. The late night TV duo are expected to face three death penalties and a fifty dollar fine.
Britney Spears announced she was leaving her career as a performer and opening a chain of go kart shops. When asked why she was making this sudden, dramatic change, she said "I just decided follow the one dream that never left me, even after being a performer for so long... children driving. If I can put even one child behind the wheel of a motor vehicle, I'll consider myself a success."
Charlie Sheen, self proclaimed "Warlock" announced yesterday that he is switching his class to Mage. He went on to state "Warlocks are no good for PVP anymore and Mages are always getting buffed." Blizzard Entertainment had no comment.