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"Those who go mad are merely thoughtful souls who failed to reach any conclusions." - Bloodborne

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Letter to Congress.

Dear Congresses.

I've been watching TV and have noticed lately a lot of troubles with your debt patio. Fox news has assured me that the liberals won't stop arguing about death panels and tax increases on the homeless and get things done, so I have an idea.

I have a pet monkey who I like to call "The Congressman" who I think would be a fine addition to your surplus deck discussions. The Congressman displays many of the same traits that you do, he sits around all day screaming at people and throwing his shit.

Once I came home and The Congressman was sitting in the sink screaming and throwing his shit, and I thought "holy shit, why is an actual elected official here in my house practicing politicing?"

It really had me fooled. It was at that moment that I realized he could be essential in the budget shortcake debates. I think he has negotiating skills far beyond what a typical congress person has displayed so far and could be a real player in our government. I'm sure he would fit in right away with everyone else there.

Pictures and audio recordings of his screeches can be provided if necessary. Let me know what you think.

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