Random quote

"Those who go mad are merely thoughtful souls who failed to reach any conclusions." - Bloodborne

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Faith means... well, nothing really.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Yo momma.

Yo momma is so fat, they used her ass to plug the oil leak in the gulf.

Yo momma is so fat, to solve the problem of rising sea levels they told her to get out of the water.

Yo momma is so ugly, she went to a zoo and thought it was a house of mirrors.

Yo momma is so ugly, she haunts Freddy Krueger's dreams.

Yo momma smells so bad they built a paper mill next to her house to give the neighbors some relief.


Hmm. @_@

Thursday, July 29, 2010

The beardacolypse.

Have you noticed something... different? Something that isn't quite right among the funny and famous? You know what I mean... beards.



I first noticed this when Conan O'brien (And David Letterman) grew a beard during the somewhat-recent writers strike. I was pretty shocked when I saw this. I thought "why? he looks horrible!" and then I thought about cheese for a while. Cheese is fucking awesome.

Of course after the strike ended he shaved the beard. All was right with the world, right? Not quite. After the Conan/Leno debacle which recently left Conan without a show, he stopped shaving. And so, once again, there was the beard. Why? I'm not sure. This could be simple laziness on Conan's part or it could be something deeper.

I didn't think too much of it until the recent return of new episodes of The Daily Show. And I saw it...



What in the fucking fuck? Of all people... John Stewart??? Luckily Stephen Colbert is beard-free... for now. But it makes me wonder, what do they want? Yeah, them, the beards. They must have a reason for this sudden take over. But why? Man and beard have lived side-by-side for thousands of years. What triggered this sudden invasion?

Don't think I'm serious? Try it yourself, don't shave for a few days. Notice something? Yeah, it's a beard. It'll take you as well, if you let it. It's not like this is new, either. The beards have taken royalty, gay cowboys and even Neo! Beards almost seem like "the one ring" from Lord of the Rings. You see it, then you want it. Then you can't get rid of it. Then it consumes you.

So, what can we do? Email your favorite actors and tv hosts. Beg them to rid themselves of their beards before it's too late. We can fight this, we just have to be vigilant.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Cereal says what?

I wonder if the Mexican version of Rice Crispies speak spanish? What's spanish for snap, crackle, pop?

Do you ever wonder that? Probably just me.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Game Noir.

So there I was, sitting there. Where? There. Right there, as usual. It was a dark stormy night and I had been sitting there for a while. Thinking? Wishing? Dreaming of a better tomorrow? No, just sitting. There.

And then, there, where I was, I realized something. Something that I had been suppressing, to the best of my abilities for what felt like a lifetime. But, being only a man, I could suppress it no longer. The inevitable conclusion to another chapter of my life was about to come to an end, a fight I could no longer win. I had to take a shit.

So where I was, sitting there. Where? There, the toilet. It was your ordinary bathroom. Dark, dank, the kind of bathroom you might find any kind of scum and villainy in if they had to take a shit and happened to be near that location. I sat there thinking about life. I thought about man kind. Where was it headed? Why are we here? Why is this room called a bathroom when there was no bathtub to be found? Why is it called a driveway when you park there? Shouldn't it be called a parkway? I'm sure the answers were out there but I didn't have them. Would I find them someday? Only time would tell.

So, yeah... I hope the new Max Payne game doesn't suck.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Lame wizardry.

I just finished watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Awesome movies, but one thing annoyed me. Gandalf. Why? Almost no magic during all three movies.

Every time a large battle happened or a situation got desperate I was waiting for him to just... fucking... UNLEASH hell. He didn't. Ever. Not once.

Why not? I'm not really sure. for a while I thought he was just very careful with his magic. Only using it when absolutely necessary. Which is to be admired in a wizard I would imagine but... it just didn't happen at all. Very disappointing.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Whoops.

Due to an oversight on my part, the ad box on the left was not yet activated. It wasn't able to display anything. That's fixed now, though. So, give that a shot. Advertise here. Let everyone know the kind of crazy peoples website you visit. As of this post the min bid to have something displayed is $0 so... go go go!

Mmmm blue...

Do yourself a favor. Next time you're out, grab yourself a Blue Raspberry Icee.

You'll thank me later, unless you're allergic to something in the Icee. Then you won't thank me ever.

Sorry it's been a little slow, I've been helping my sister get her PC together. After headaches surrounding ordering the parts, wireless signal issues and a lost power cable... it's done. AMD quad core 3.0ghz processor, 4gb of DDR3 ram, ATI 4870 1gb graphics card. Not a bad system I must say.

It was a huge pain in the ass but it's done. I should start posting more frequently soon. Bear with me.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

You know what pisses me off? Rhyming assholes.

No, I don't mean rappers. I mean these people...

" One, two,
Buckle my shoe;
Three, four,
Knock at the door;
Five, six,
Pick up sticks;
Seven, eight,
Lay them straight:"

Seriously, what's with that? Whoever this asshole is thinks he can order me around, have me doing menial tasks just because he has pre-school level counting skills? Fuck that guy.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

You know what pisses me off? Cold faces.

You know what criminals, bank robbers, etc? Fuck you guys. Why? Face masks.

Yeah, you heard me. I can't wear them. Can anyone else? Hell no. In winter time, when walking our dogs or some other out door activity, I might like to wear one. My face gets cold. I bundle up and walk the dogs in the morning in winter. It's no big deal.

But no, I can't wear a face mask. I'll look like a bank robber who, for some reason, decided to walk some dogs right after a bank robbery.

I'm not sure why a bank robber would rob a bank and then, without changing clothes, starts walking dogs around the neighborhood. It could happen. Maybe.

But seriously though, fuck you guys. I can't even consider wearing something on winter mornings that might keep my face warm because of you assholes. So, yeah. Waffles, bitches.

More deep stuff.

Let me ask you a serious question. If you have children, say, two. They both die. Do you use one medium sized casket or use two child caskets?

My thinking is, you put both corpses into the medium sized casket and bury them that way. What do they care, they're dead. Now, the advantages are you only have to hold one funeral. That means less fuel used to get people there since they only have to go once. Also less wood used to make caskets. Less flowers, etc, etc.

Offended? You shouldn't be, I'm thinking of the planet here god damn it. Where's YOUR green ideas, huh? It's about efficiency.

Here's another funeral related thing I've been wondering. Is it at all appropriate to throw up the horns at a funeral? Why? Well, I'm not sure. But, I mean, in general, is that okay for any reason?

Also, would anyone be offended if I brought a hand puppet to a funeral? That's a pretty significant one. Maybe I don't put on a show or anything, a joke or too perhaps but he just comes along. You know, to pay his respects.

How many Justin Biebers could you take?

The genius farm that is The Oatmeal has done it again. How many Justin Biebers could you take in a fight?

Here's my result:



Think you could do better? Take the quiz yourself.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Louis C.K. on Bill Gates.

Seriously one of the funniest comedians out there, in my humble opinion. Check out this clip.

What pisses me off? Shitty super heroes.

The lamest super heroes ever. These assholes.



Seriously, what kind of crack was up the ass of the retard who thought of these two? The girl, whatsherface turns into animals or something. She's not so bad but the other asshole turns into water. Seriously... water? What? Not even like, cool stuff like tidal waves or snow monsters or something.

I saw a lot of the show and never saw puddleboy change into anything cool.

"Form of... CONDENSATION! HAHA, Evildoer! I am now positively COVERING your drinking class! Here you were, doing evil, caught totally unawares without even a coaster!"

"NO! CURSE YOU DROPLETKID! I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME!"

"Super villians, they never learn!"

Hey, at least it would be accurate that way. Seriously though, fuck that guy.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Just don't let it happen today.

Does anyone else have something that, if it doesn't happen to them, they call that day a success? Just, something you think, when you wake up "If this doesn't happen to me today, I win?"

It would probably vary, depending on the person. Maybe it's being hit by a turd, maybe it's getting into a knife fight with a monkey. Hey, it could happen. Although it's not very likely which, I would think, makes most days good ones for that person.

What's mine? I think it's probably getting a hand cut off in an accident with a manure truck. You know, a truck that carries manure. I've never seen one but I'm always on the lookout. Ever vigilant. Ever watchful. Whenever a large truck comes by I always take a big whiff to see if I smell shit. Now, if I'm in the bathroom when this happens it gets complicated. I have to distinguish where the possible order might be coming from.

Leave a comment and let me know what your "one thing" for the day is.

Monday, July 19, 2010

What pisses me off? PlayOn.

Maybe some of you have heard of PlayOn. It's a program that allows you to stream media, usually hulu, to your Xbox 360, PS3 or Wii. Some time ago I was looking to switch from cable to mostly/completely internet based TV watching.

Why? It'd be cheaper and more flexible than cable. I had already used hulu for some time and the thought of completely "cutting the cable" and using my computer for my TV needs seemed interesting. After finding PlayOn and trying it out, I went for it. I bought the program ($40) and was fairly happy with it.

This was a lifetime license. It specifically stated on their website in the FAQ section that they didn't do monthly/yearly fees. Now, two of my favorite shows are The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. PlayOn knew this was the case, not just with me but with most of their users and when hulu dropped those two shows, they added in support for comedycentral.com. This allowed people who purchased PlayOn to continue watching them via the program.

The problem was later when they announced a "premium" version of PlayOn. Now, they stated that your "PlayOn Basic" license was still good and would be for a "lifetime" and they would continue to support it. Sounds good, right? It was ok until they changed the comedycentral.com support to show up as "Premium Preview" and, once the "premium" version was out, yanked access to it from the "PlayOn Basic" users programs. Wait... what?

PlayOn premium could be payed for via a yearly fee, another wtf. Seeing as how they had already stated that it just wasn't the way they operated. So much for that, then. But you can also pay a one time fee of $80 ($40 for early adopters) for a "lifetime" license... yeah, fool me once and all that.

But even that "lifetime" license is apparently only for version 3.0. Another major version would cost even more. I'm starting to think that PlayOn is talking about the "lifetime" in terms of butterflies.

Now, you may be thinking "a lot of programs do this, charge for major versions and all that" which is true. But when a company comes out and says "pay this and you're good for a lifetime... oh wait, no pay THIS and you're good for a lifetime, we super duper promise this time for realz" I call bullshit. This was just deceptive on their part. If the charges had been stated clearly up front this wouldn't be an issue. But I didn't pay money for a "lifetime license" to a program only to have the "super awesomer" version come out later and have features, that I payed for, ripped away and put into the new blank-point-oh release that I have to pay again for.

So, fuck them. I started looking for alternatives. Here's a few of the things I found:

1. Boxee

An absolutely fantastic program, completely free mind you, that gives you a large variety of content from different sources, including hulu. It's very well designed and attractive to the eye. The only limitation is that it can't stream media to other devices, so it's best used in a media center type PC connected to your TV.

That limitation will be overcome this November when you'll be able to purchase a Boxee Box that will act as kind of a stand-alone media center PC with Boxee on board and ready to go.

For someone like me who already has his pc connected to his tv, this is a wonderful program.

2. TVersity

This one seems to be a lot like PlayOn. It will stream media from various sources to set top boxes including Xbox 360. It has a free version that, unfortunately doesn't stream Hulu but it has a paid version that does. A "pro" license is $40 a year. If I were going to pay money, it would be to TVersity. At least then I could have some assurance that what I was paying was the final price. That features weren't going to be taken from me and put in another version. Give this one a look.

3. XBMC

This is a different one that I haven't tried too much. This is the program that Boxee is based on. From the about page:

"Currently XBMC can be used to play almost all popular audio and video formats around. It was designed for network playback, so you can stream your multimedia from anywhere in the house or directly from the internet using practically any protocol available."

I've seen a Hulu addon for this program although I haven't tried it. You might want to give this one a look as well and see for yourself.


There are others but I haven't gotten the chance to try them all and, frankly, am quite happy with Boxee so I have had much reason to. Give these a shot, let me know what you think and steer clear of PlayOn unless you enjoy being lied to.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

An internet argument, acted out.



I think that says it all.

And another thought.

Here's something I've thought about lately.

We have can openers. Can openers of all kinds. Can openers of all sizes. Electric and manual.

This is the year 2010. Why have we gotten no can CLOSERS yet? Come on science, make it happen.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

I want YOU!

Did it ever occur to anyone else that we (US) are the only country with a creepy uncle?



Hmm.

They've cracked it at last! The chicken DID come before the egg!

Today, my friends, is a monumental day... for science!

Aids? PFFT. Cancer? Kiss my ass. This is serious business right here, folks.

It has been the ultimate philosophical and scientific mystery for centuries - until now, that is.

Scientists yesterday claimed to have cracked the riddle of whether the chicken or the egg came first.

The answer, they say, is the chicken. Researchers found that the formation of egg shells relies on a protein found only in a chicken's ovaries.

Well what do you know about that? An age-old mystery finally solved.

Next step? Mars.

Full Article.

Friday, July 16, 2010

What pisses me off? OMG PHONES!

Lately you can't toss a dead xbox 360 around the internet without hitting a goddamned phone article. OMG IPHONES! IPHONES ANTENNAS! TEH DROIDSZ! You know what? Fuck them all.

Go to most any gadget/gizmo/tech site these days and 75% or more of the articles are about phones, smartphones, smarter phones and slightly less smarter smart phones. I don't know about you, but I'm pretty tired of hearing about it.

Maybe I'm just not "with it" but I have no desire to pay $400 for a phone so I can pay $100 per month to surf the web on a 4" screen and have my calls dropped by shitty ass AT&T. Then of course the thing scratches and breaks because it's one, large, glass, un-covered screen. The battery life lasts a cool 20 minutes and takes hours to recharge. No fucking thanks.

Someone needs to invent the iShitter so we can stop hearing about phones for a few minutes. Reading about all the new toilets would be a fresh change from all this phone bullshit.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

What would you do?

Am I the only one thinks that MAYBE Hitler really did it, the wars, the fighting, the killing... for a klondike bar?

Yeah, probably.

WoW security.

I personally play World of Warcraft and have seen many others who do get real concerned about security lately. Stealing WoW accounts is almost an industry in itself now and certain precautions have to be taken. Here's a good list to follow.

1. Authenticator

Arguably the most important thing you can do to secure you WoW account is to get one of these. When you log in to your WoW account you are prompted to, along with your username and password, enter a six digit number given to you by your authenticator. This number changes often and can't be reused. Even with your name AND password someone without your authenticator will be unable to log into your account.

The unit is $6.50 and shipping is free. Buy one (click here if you're not in the US). There's also a Mobile Authenticator program available for certain phones.

2. Virus Scanner

Another big one, especially for Windows users. There are a number of programs that will do the job and some cost money but I find the free ones to do fine. A couple of good, well known free virus scanners are AVG Free and Avast. Personally, I use Avast. Nothing is perfect, but either should catch most/all trojans and other unwanted garbage you might run into.

3. Firewall

These can help a lot, especially if something nasty makes it into your system and attempts to "call home" from within your computer. There are software firewalls such as ZoneAlarm and Online Armor but me, personally I prefer to use a hardware firewall. If your computer is contected to a Router, you already have one. If not, I'd highly recommend getting one. I personally use one of these and love it.

4. Keep your system up to date

Remember to keep windows and all your software up to date. Check for new versions often and apply them as they release. This will help patch vulnerabilities and fix bugs that may cause trouble. Especially things like windows security updates and virus scanner definitions.

5. Use a better browser

Perhaps a minor point, but if you're using Internet Explorer... STOP! There are far better, faster browsers out there with far more features. Older, more outdated browsers can be security risks, especially Internet Explorer. I use Firefox but there are many other good browsers such as Google Chrome, Opera and others.

6. Don't be a dumbass!

Probably the most important tip of all, use some common sense. If you get an email claiming to be from blizzard wanting you to log in or clink a link, be wary. Never trust messages you might get in game about winning something or beta access or anything like that. Remember that blizzard will NEVER, EVER ask you for your username and/or password.

Also NEVER buy gold or use any "power leveling" services as these are enormous security risks and bad for the game itself. Never share your account information with anyone no matter how much you trust them. A little common sense will go a long way. Some claim that this is really the only really REQUIRED step but I say nothing and no one is perfect. People make mistakes, no matter how smart they are. Follow these steps and you should be able to sleep easier when it comes to your WoW account.


Have I missed anything? Leave a comment and let me know and I'll add it to the post.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

The grim peeker.

Earlier today I was out with my family and we drove through a neighborhood inhabited mostly by the elderly.

I wanted to dress up as the grim reaper and peek in windows.

I thought it would have been funny, but I didn't do it.

Maybe one day...

Tropics, eh...

I guess it's just that season but, I'm hearing a lot about "tropical storms" lately. I almost never hear the word "tropical" not followed by a description of some force of nature that exists purely to fuck shit up.

Which makes me wonder, shouldn't tropical drinks have little hurricane shelters in them instead of umbrellas? It would make more sense to ME but, I'm kinda crazy. So... yeah.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Damn you, DDR...

My sister was playing DDR earlier and I pointed out to her (since she hasn't played much of the game) that although sometimes it says "Good" it doesn't mean it. When your timing is off you get a "Good" but it breaks any step streaks you had.

My only conclusion is that the game is being sarcastic.

You know what, DDR? Screw you.

Is this a country or a religion?

That's what I wonder sometimes. We (Americans) seem very obsessed with our country. I live in the south so it's especially the case around here.

People here seem extremely obsessed with symbols:



Our "holy warriors":



Our chants:

The current version of the Pledge of Allegiance reads:[1]

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. - Wikipedia

And hell, we even do our chants AT our symbols! In school, no less. And sometimes we have our "holy warriors" do our chants at our symbols! When our "holy warriors" die, we wrap them in our symbols and do more chants.

I'm not trying to bash my country, I just think that sometimes we may be a little to obsessed with ourselves. All someone has to do is declare that the country is in danger or our "freedom" is threatened and people will believe or do anything that they're told will destroy our enemies.

We're so obsessed with these things that our judgment is sometimes completely overwritten. During the last US presidential election cycle, candidate Barack Obama was insulted by some for not constantly wearing a small American flag on his suit. He stated (paraphrasing) that he believes real patriotism is doing good for the country, not necessarily wearing a small American flag all the time. Whether you believe Obama has attempted to make good on that is up to you, but I believe that's a correct idea.

Personally, I feel uncomfortable having our children "pledge allegiance" to the flag and our country in schools every day. It seems like some kind of brain washing that would be done in some extremist/religious state intent on raising a nation of hyper-loyal, non-thinking citizen-soldiers. Of course, that kind of sounds like America a little more everyday, unfortunately.

When people, particularly republicans, sing the praises and get all choked up about our country but don't seem to actually care about it's people, I wonder... what is it that they love? Not the people, surely. The land, the actual dirt? I think it's the IDEA of America. No actual substance, nothing that ACTUALLY exists, just a concept. Kind of like a religion.

I could go on forever, but what do you think?

Monday, July 12, 2010

Sarah Palin is a colossal retard.

So stupid in fact that she makes Bill O'reilly look like an intellectual.

Just watch this.



That right there is a thing of beauty.

Why all the swamp hate?

One thing I've noticed is that movies that are set in swamps or have "swamp" in the title are usually bad. Swamp thing, thing from the swamp, swamp thing that came from the swampy swamp thing swamp, etc.

Why all the swamp hate? Swamps may not be the most cheerful environments but surely there's SOMETHING good about them, surely a positive swamp movie could be made.

"It came from the swamp... and then payed off my mortgage!"

Why not something like that? Seriously people, swamps can't be all THAT bad. I mean, alligators like them and alligators are bad ass. That should say SOMETHING, right?

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Pitch Perfect - Featuring Zach Anner

When you see something this awesome, you have to share it with everyone. Zach Anner is the man.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Shackity shack.

Ran across a list of 10 brands that may disappear in 2011. One of them is Radioshack. Here's an excerpt.

RadioShack is one of the oldest retailers in the U.S. It was founded in 1921 and in the early 1960s was purchased by Tandy Corp. The Tandy name was used for some of Radio Shack's retail stores. RadioShack is currently a takeover target. There have been rumors that the company may be taken private via a leveraged buyout or purchased by Best Buy (NYSE: BBY - News), probably for its locations. Best Buy would certainly not keep the RadioShack brand because it is considered downscale and does not have the reputation for quality products and service that Best Buy enjoys. RadioShack has already begun to rebrand itself as "The Shack," an indication that it knows the older brand is a burden.

Now wait a second... what? The Shack?? Who thought THAT was a good idea for a new name? "The Shack" sounds like somewhere you might store your lawnmower, or take a shit.

"Hey, I'm goin' to The Shack"
"Where?"
"The Shack"
"You mean the basketball guy?"
"No, it's a place. They sell stuff."
"The Shack... sells things? Like what?"
"RC cars, batteries and such."
"Why would anyone sell electronics out of a shack?"
"Why don't YOU shut your FACE??"

Well, that's how it sounds in my head anyway. Seriously though, couldn't they think of a better name than that? Let me think, a failing store that sells electronics... How about "Circuit City". I hear that name is available now and it seems to fit, for some reason.

Here's the full article.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Stop... singing...

Have you ever heard a song so many times that you start to get pissed at the singer? Well, it's happened to me.

I've been playing a lot of Fallout 3 lately, as everyone should since it's an awesome game but I digress.

The game features a collection of old songs, as the time period before the bombs leveled civilization in the games story it was the most popular music. The song, "Way back home" by Bob Crosby is one of the songs that plays. Now, the game doesn't have a HUGE selection of music so you'll be hearing it, a lot unless you turn off the radio. Have a listen for yourself...



There's a point, I'm not sure how many times it takes but you start to think "you know what? Fuck you, stop bitching. Go back home, I don't want to hear your bullshit anymore. You shouldn't have left in the first place retard, go die in a fire."

It may be because I'm mentally unstable, or it may be because I'm bentally munstable. I'm not sure. But I've have thoughts like these recently while playing.

MC Frontalot

Heard of this guy? No? He's a rapper. His particular style is Nerdcore which you may not have heard of. Have a listen.

Also, if you don't know what the hell he's talking about, have a look at this



frontalot.com

I wonder...

I wonder if P.Diddy ever wakes up in the morning feeling like Kesha?

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

If there was a hell, I'd be headed there.

Does anyone else ever feel like going to a cancer ward and yelling "IT'S A WIPE! STOP HEALING!" ?

No? Just me, then.

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Tuesday, July 6, 2010

There's a prize at the bottom, no, really!

Conservatives, in their never-ending attempts to prove that they can go lower than you in the limbo game of life, apparently don't like little girls who give away lemonade.

Ran across an article from the sun times by a conservative. It's funny stuff.

His fiancee smiled and commented, "Isn't that cute. They have the spirit of giving."

That really set me off, as my regular readers can imagine.

"No!" I exclaimed from the back seat. "That's not the spirit of giving. You can only really give when you give something you own. They're giving away their parents' things -- the lemonade, cups, candy. It's not theirs to give."

I pushed the button to roll down the window and stuck my head out to set them straight.

Oh boy... Read the full article here.

Now, what I'm wondering is, how did that stick get up their asses? Some kind of horrific logging accident perhaps?

Monday, July 5, 2010

Magical... Japanese... Obama.



I don't know what the hell is.... what?



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Weird law pondering.

Here's a weird law I ran across on the interwebs.

Alabama: It's illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church. source


I'm not sure if that's an actual law, but it got me wondering as things sometimes do, especially when the things involve stuff. I'm a fan of stuff.

I wonder if holding up a fake mustache would count? I mean, holding one up, with your hand, to your face? Would that be considered "wearing" the fake mustache?

A couple defintions of the word "wear" from webster.com:

1 : to bear or have on the person
2 a : to use habitually for clothing, adornment, or assistance b : to carry on the person
3 a : to hold the rank or dignity or position signified by (an ornament) b


Sounds kind of iffy to me. You ARE carrying it, for sure. But not like, carrying it around for all to see all the time like a sword, just sort of holding it up to your face temporarily. And of course we know that the LAW doesn't always matter so much as what's ACTUALLY ENFORCED. How the law is interpreted and such.

So let's just assume that it doesn't count and holding one up with your hand is ok. How close to your face can the fake mustache be before it moves into illegal territory? One inch? A centimeter? Can it actually TOUCH your face? Would it just be considered wearing it at that point, or maybe it's ok as long as your hand is supporting the weight of the fake mustache and not any part of your face.

I also wonder if the personal politics or religion of the judge making the decision would matter. Would a left wing judge consider holding up a mustache with your hand legal? Would a right wing judge? Is there some kind of christian doctrine that specifically forbids fake mustaches in a church, regardless of how the weight of it is supported?

Would personal beliefs and ideas come into play or would they strictly go by the constitution? Are fake mustaches protected by free speech? Maybe if the mustache was kind of sharp or even a little itchy it would be covered by the second amendment... but then would you need a permit to carry one?

These are the things I think about sometimes. I'd definitely like to hear from a judge or lawyer on this one.

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Sunday, July 4, 2010

Who would win in a fight?

Two contenders enter, one leaves. Two combatants that sound alike but are very much different.

Who will survive?

Combatant 1: A little boy.



Age: About 8
Weight: About 55lb
Height: About 55 inches
Strength: Very low

A small, for this example, white male child. Probably still pisses his bed. Combat ability is extremely low.




And now for Combatant 2: Little boy.



Weight: 8,900lb
Length: 120 inches
Blast Yield: 13-18 Kilotons

A nuclear weapon. Dropped over Hiroshima killing roughly 66,000 people and injuring another 69,000 or so. Estimated long-term death toll of the explosion and related illnesses is around 200,000.


So who would win in a fight? It would be an epic struggle to be sure.

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Saturday, July 3, 2010

Cataclysm: Deepholme tour.

If you're looking forward to the expansion to World of Warcraft, Cataclysm, then you might want to take a look at this.

Some footage from a new zone, Deepholme. If you really don't want to experience it for the first time here then just skip it, else have a look. I think it looks absolutely fantastic. I recommend setting it to 720p and maximizing the video.



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More evidence that "The Last Airbender" is shit.

Some pretty scathing reviews of this movie just seem to keep popping up. As I've said before, I loved the animated series so I'm extremely disappointed, although not surprised by the apparent shit fest that is the live action movie.

“A film’s [Rotten Tomatoes] ratings can be mixed/so-so (60% to 75%), mixed shit (40% to 60%), shit (20% to 40%) and steaming piles (under 20%). At least 11 other major releases this year have been generally condemned as time-wasters, but Airbender, so far, is the King of Shit Mountain.” — Jeffrey Wells, Hollywood Elsewhere

Ouch. A bunch more excerpts here.

Friday, July 2, 2010

"OMG I SMOKE PO" STFU!

Attention good people of the internet. If you smoke pot, shut the fuck up.

No, really, I don't care. Most people really don't care at all. What do I mean? Well, on the internet some people who smoke pot won't shut the hell up about it. Informing others at every opportunity. It seems to be a recurring trend.

Why? I'm not sure. Perhaps because they want to impress others with how "bad" and "against the rules/law" they are. I can't say for certain, but I just wish they would give it a rest.

Don't get me wrong, although I'm not a pot smoker I have nothing against people who are. In fact, I say legalize that and any other drug you can name. I'm the kind of guy who really doesn't give a shit WHAT you do with your body as long as it doesn't affect me. Really. I'm just sick of hearing about how high you just got or the weed you smoke.

I support your right to smoke pot as much as you like, just please don't be so annoying.

Damnit m night shammallama...



Click for full size.

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What if...

What if we just made really large fire safes and lived in those? Huh?

Have you ever wondered that? Yeah, me neither.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Music CD Profits.

The next time you hear anyone droning on about how immoral it is to download music, show them this.




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Apparently "The Last Airbender" is shit.

Now, I loved Avatar: The Last Airbender and when I heard a live action movie was being made, I figured it wouldn't be any good. Just because of the history of anything-that-isn't-a-movie to movie transitions.

After seeing the actual casting, I was almost certain it would suck. None of the actors look like the characters in the animated series. And check this detail out (from the review):

And then there are plot points in THE LAST AIRBENDER that are just plain dumb. See if my logic makes sense. Leading up to the big battle scene between the firebender warriors and the water bender monk-like people, a water dude makes a point to say that everyone in their camp should put out every fire so the fire people won't have anything to…bend, I guess.


What? Really? They need actual lit fires around them to bend? Since when? You may not understand my confusion unless you've seen the animated series but trust me... it's bullshit.

I can only hope this movie doesn't do very well so the sequals don't get made. At least then, Toph, my favorite character from the series is spared the butchery of m night shammallamadingdong.

Read the full review.

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Guy Freaks Out During Hidden Camera Ghost Prank.



So awesome... lol.

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Screw you, Bannon.

Seriously, fuck that guy. Who? Bannon, from the game Fallout 3. He has a clothing "shop" set up in Rivet City. It's called "Potomic Attire" Seriously.

You should hear the way he says it. Oh wait, that's right, INTERNETS! You can. Here, watch this.


Spoiler warning. This is the entire "Council Seat" quest. If you just want to hear this annoying bastard with no spoilers stop at 30 seconds.

What an asshole. This guy is on a rusting, broken boat in an irradiated post-apocalyptic city selling old, dirty, clothes he got... who the hell knows how he got them and it's POTOMIC ATTIRE? With that irritating tone? Really? You know what he needs? A punch in the face. If this guy was any more up his own ass he'd have to wash the shit out of his hair with bleach.

Next time you're in Fallout 3 (which you should be because it's an awesome game) give this asshole a punch in the face. For me, and justice.

Mostly for me.

D pants.



Is this awesome? Yes. Will he win an award or get knighted? No.

The world is a cruel, unfair place. Never forget it.

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