Random quote

"Those who go mad are merely thoughtful souls who failed to reach any conclusions." - Bloodborne

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

How about some fucking REALISM in politics?

One thing that bothers me a lot about politics is the pie-in-the-sky, unrealistic bullshit. Pointless, outrageous idealism. Let me give you two examples that will be sure to piss off ANYONE who reads this, no matter where they are on the poltical spectrum:

Abortion


Whether you think abortion is a valid option for women or an immoral abomination to the flying spaghetti monster, it's here to stay. Even if you somehow managed to make it illegal, it would simply be done in an unsafe, illegal way. You're not getting rid of this, so fucking deal with it and let's come up with some ACTUAL, REALISTIC solutions, okay?

There are several REAL ways you can severely cut down on the number of abortions, and yes, cutting down the numbers severely is the best you're going to be able to do, sorry. The first way would be ditching abstinence-only education. It's stupid and it doesn't work. Humans are humans. Humans are going to do what humans are going to do, understand? Abstinence can be taught but only as one valid option out of many, such as proper condom usage.

If you still insist that some mutant pillowcase in the sky is telling you different from what I've said here, then you're just dumb. Stop being so dumb.

Guns


Would the world be better without guns? Maybe. Would it be as good as most people think it would be? Probably not. Are we ever going to live in that world? Not in this lifetime. If you really think that you're going to disarm a country like the USA without a revolution then you're really, really stupid. That genie is out of the bottle. Go look up how many guns are in this country, go ahead, I'll wait.

...

A lot, right? Whether you think guns should be illegal or not, they aren't going to be. What we NEED to do is encourage GOOD people to own guns. We need to educate people from a young age about gun safety. We need to get better at identifying the kind of mental illnesses that would cause someone to go into a school and shoot it up. You know, tackle the ACTUAL cause of the problem. Crazy, right?

Persnally, I think that guns can only work well in one of two situations. Either everyone who's not insane owns and carries one, or no one owns one. If you really think the second scenario is more likely than the first, you might have one of those mental illnesses I mentioned. Get diagnosed. The only thing criminalizing guns will go is make it so that only criminals own guns. That's just reality. I didn't make things the way they are, I'm just telling you. Don't shoot the messenger.

Sunday, January 31, 2016

The Real Fake News: 1/31/16 Edition.

Welcome to The Real Fake News with DavidGX.

In our top story, YouTube talentless assholes celebrities "The Fine Bros" have gained the ire of the Internet for attempting to copyright any kind of "reaction" video. "It's all about community" they said, while punching a baby square in the jaw.

In a related story, The Fine Bros announced a lawsuit attempting to collect a sum of fifty million US dollars from the estate of the late Sir Isaac Newton for his third law, which states "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction." This will be the first time, if successful, anyone has won a lawsuit against physics. "It's all about community" said The Fine Bros, while kicking a puppy.

In a poll, most voters agreed that Donald Trump won the last Republican debate, in which he didn't attend. In other news, I won the Olympics. All of them. I'm also Miss America BECAUSE FUCK YOU I'M BEAUTIFUL!

Donald Trump lashed out at his Republican rival Ted Cruz for insinuating that he supports universal healthcare. "A vote for Donald Trump is a vote for Obamacare" said Ted Cruz. "Ted Cruz is a butt and has a butt for a face" Donald Trump said in a press release.

This just in, The Fine Bros have announced that being "triggered" is a form of reaction and that they have plans to sue tumblr for eleventy-billion dollars.

That's all for this week. Have a good one folks.

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

My How To videos.

I've not done a tremendous amount with my YouTube channel, although I plan to in the future. Most of it has been gaming stuff, although there have been a few how-to videos. I think they're actually semi-useful so I'm going to post the three I've done so far right here. Check 'em out.

How To make a gnat trap.



How To prevent cats from chewing your wires.



How To cut zip ties with cat clippers.


Find anything useful? Head over to my YouTube channel and subscribe. I have some other stuff there, and there's a small chance you might like some of it. If you have any suggestions for anything else I might make a video of, let me know in the comments section.

Monday, January 25, 2016

The Real Fake News: 01/25/16 Edition.

Welcome to the Real Fake News. We'll start with a letter from the editor:

"If you're reading this, I've been locked in a warehouse and am being forced to help edit shitty fake news stories. Please tell my wife, Samantha, that she was always a bitch."

Real funny, Tom. Now, for our stories...

Gas prices continue to plummet forcing oil rich nations to get creative. They're now offering a buy one get one free barrel deal along with a toy. The king of Saudi Arabia was quoted to say "We have Mario Karts, all. Peach kart, Luigi Kart, all."

A vicious snow storm continues to wrack the east coast. Donald Trump promised to "deport all snow back to Hoth" if elected president.

A 7.1 magnitude earthquake struck near Anchorage Alaska early Sunday morning. A massive amount of snow was ejected into the air and is expected to land on all the other snow on the east coast.

Four of Twitter's top executives recently left the company. They were in charge of the company's current money making strategy. They announced a new plan to "Sell snow cones on the east coast. It's a brilliant idea, they'll love it!"

Local fake news man gets reprimand over terrible running gag about snow on the east coast. Wait a second, GOD DAMNIT TOM! I'M DONE. SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!